December 31, 2019

Updated: Jan 11, 2020

Q; What is the best thing that happened to you this year


A: First off, I would like to start with a wholesome 'hello" to the last day of 2019. Goodbye to the end of a decade. I feel as though I've aged more in the last two years than in my whole life combined. I've always felt older than my true age and that was just because I went from being a child to being thrown into the deep end of adulthood. I never had the "I'm a child I'm going to fuck up a bunch of shit" phase. I was always prim and proper and did what was expected of me. But I feel like because of that, it fucked me up. I never had a time to get my bullshit out of system, I've had to suppress all my feeling for the greater good and in turn I turned into my bullshit myself. I 100% do not know how to analyze/deal with my emotions, I truly only know how to run away from them and pretend as though they do not exist. 🙃


Hi okay so let me actually answer the question now. The best thing to happen this year was... Seeing the true colors of some of the key player in the grand ol' story that is my life. I feel like when pushed to the edge, people show you who they really are. I wholeheartedly believe that you need to see someone break before you can see how good/bad they are. They show you their fight or flight and they show you their moral compass down to their core. Some people will stay in your story and some people are merely there as a life lesson and walk out when it time for you to rid of them. Maybe that's what's wrong with me, I will never fight for someone who turns around and walks out. It's not worth my time and apparently I wasn't worth theirs if they turned around in the first place.

Another good thing that happened this year, my baby boy Arko turned 11 years old a couple weeks ago. He's an American akita, they have a life span of 10 to 13 years.. He's still running around like a puppy so hopefully he lives forever. My heart wouldn't be able to bear that loss.


Happy 2020! I pray this year is good to me 💕


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